busy without thinking. going without pausing to consider where. life filled with activity, but really just an empty bustle that hides a vacume. only by intentionally depriving myself of routine, by breaking it and plunging into foreign continents, do i actually awaken, and only then for the briefest time. stuck in some bus depot with nothing to do. no music to listen to. nothing to read. no one to talk to. i find myself writing. exploring. actually thinking. in ways that are impossible at home.

If x is the world, and Ax=b is what someone can see, then the null space of A is invisibile! I never really thought about it like this before. As John pointed out, every failed inverse problem is an opportunity in disguise, (for instance if you're interested in making Harry Potter cloaks or stealth airplanes).

Swiming was difficult for me the first time because I was forgetting to breath. I was only getting fresh air from ridiculously short gasps every couple of strokes- no wonder I felt like passing out.

I've switched from running to swimming. A confluence of factors conspired against the daily pounding I'd gotten into the habit of delivering to my knees and other joints. The main reason I indulged in this masochism was the excellent shape it left most of my body in (everything that is except my knees). Or rather, the excellent shape it made me THINK I was in. Today after only one lap in the pool I was totally dizzy and my heart felt like it was trying to pound its way out of my chest. I was too tired to feel embarrased that everyone kept cruising past me (even the old people with me in the slow lane). I knew I probably looked ridiculous but I was simply too exhausted to care. This is how it should be though, and secretly I was happy. I've discovered the perfect exercise, requiring both strength and finesse, and right now I'm terrible at it, so I can only get better.

Japanese Snacks is closing. My restaurant of at least five years has been sold to someone who will turn it into a sushi house. I'm shocked. Change is forced upon me and everything seems in flux.

Most everyone there tonight was unaware of this titanic shift in the arrangement of things, especially the cooing couple who sat groping each other one table down. I tuned them out with ear plugs and was able to enjoy the ritual of my evening meal in peace. Sweet boba tea mixed with rice and terriaki chicken, an interesting book to read, and nothing in the world to worry about.

The owner shook my hand after I was done. I congratulated him and wished him luck. This is community in the urban jungle.